Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Ask Manton

Ok, so I had this crazy idea of involving the readers in this thing, but it was clouded with doubt over whether or not I have readers. Thanks to a special li'l tracker, I have now realized that I do, in fact, have readers. A nice amount, actually. When I brought up the lovely li'l number to a friend, she said, "man, no one seems to want to comment it." And no, no one seems to want to.

So I'm asking for you to change it.

A lot of you have been reading since the beginning, and some have just caught on recently. The point is that you've probably gotten a pretty good grasp on the way I think and the variety of topics I cover. I have decided that I am going to open up the next blog entry to you, the readers, in a special write up entitled "Ask Manton."

Here is your golden opportunity to fulfill that dream of being on that tall kid from high school's blog !!! Exciting, isn't it? You can do this one of two ways. If you want to be anonymous, leave a comment in this post. If you perfer e-mail, just click here and shoot me off an electronic letter (lol no postage lol). Questions can range from anything to everything, but I refuse to talk about Seabiscuit, as that damn horse always makes me cry.

I am really, really depending on you people to not make this a complete failure and make me look like an asshole after I just got a confidence boost by seeing readership numbers. Don't let me down. Or I'll cry. Like when the other jockey goes, "enjoy the ride" to Tobey Ma...sorry. I've already said...too much.... Excuse me!


Anonymous said...

aright.. ill start this thing off to help manton. i think a good topic to talk about is myspace and the rediculous drama it brings to people. What the fuck is up with people abusing the shit out of online now icons and who is creating these abominations?

I just went to someone's page and instead of an "online now" icon it just had a sparkly text that said "FUCKING." That shit is ridiculous. Are you really fucking all the time? Even while you are online?

I just want to know if someone is online not some shit that tells me " DrInKiiNg CoRoNaS!" That doesn't give me any information other than the fact that you are a stupid asshole.

Ok, I get it, you want to customize your page so everyone can see how original you are for finding a shitty source code from some other site, nicely played, but let's not let sacrifice functionality for some borderline aesthetics.

You might as well have an online now icon that constantly says "Swallowing Jizz" you cockmouthed html-absuers.


Anonymous said...

hahha the person who just wrote is amazing. but not as good as anton. aright. i have a topic id like to discuss too. I think i will title this: TROUBLE PICKING AN AIM SCREEN NAME?
It seems these days every cliche' Louis Vuitton bag owning, sloppy-mouthed girl has found herself online. It only took a casual 17 some odd years for it to catch on to their demographic. Nevertheless, this presents a clear problem for AIM and Yahoo users, how can we accomodate so much heavy flow of useless mundane conversations about implied glances and how "he totally used this fake, well not fake fake, but a voice that like was trying to say, well something, you know?" sort of comments? We need a regimented formula for lame people to pick their screen names. Originality is a hard bag I tell ya.

Don't start off picking something random like naming yourself after an office product you see lying around. The name "staplerfuckwhiteout" is probably already taken, plus it doesn't let the intelligent people know to stay away from you. You need to give people fair warning about who you are. Clothing brands of an expensive nature usually or any materialism let people know that effectively represents you. Like for instance, my aim name is "HotAbercrombiefuckmyassbutnotgay" see how it conveys exactly what I am into in a concise manner?

You don't need to be an invaritable Faulkner implementing anadiplosis and shadow imagery: its just an AIM name. Just be formulaic take like a base word like "hot, sexy, kitty, gurl, nymph" and add some decorative xx's in front of perhaps a 69 or 420 or 666 at the end for good measure just so people know where you stand on the issues.

Like if I were a lame girl trying to be cliche my AIM name would be like "xxsexdeepthrt4u69" But I think that is too many letters, dangit, and I don't have a vagina, double dangit.

Well its a simple formula, just slap those together and be on the lookout for perverts online, contrapositively, 13 year old girls look about 35 these days, so duly note that as well. well, I'm off to my vaginoplasty surgery so I can make the aforementioned screen name when i get back...

Pam said...

Ok, fine. How bout: Why do guys feel the need to yell out their car window at girls? I am SO SICK of this. What does it accomplish? Yeah, um, GREAT way to pick up girls, douchebag. Chicks really dig you and your sketchy car, cruising down Comm Ave and yelling things like, "Yo girls!" and "Woooooo!" or (my personal favorite) "Titties!" I'm at the point where I want the female population to rebel. Yell back, chase after the car, carry silly string or tomatoes (just in case) or... I don't even know. *sigh*

Anonymous said...

Dear Manton,

What are the symptoms of ghonorrea?

-A concerned reader

Cara said...

MANTON....I can't think of anything right now, but the next time I have something about which I want to rant, I promise your blog will be the first to know. I will, however, second the "yelling out the car window at women" topic TENFOLD! Don't do it. Just...don't do it.

Sucks we won't be doing STP together this summer....but I'll be there for the shows to see my sis, and I'll stop by rehearsals now and then. Do funny...don't puke in any pianos this time...

Anonymous said...

dear anton,

is it possible for humans to have sex with monkeys? i always wanted to know. please get back to me ASAP. thanks

Anonymous said...

aright i wanna talk about how wonderful online pictures are. People have fucking huge albums full of pictures of themselves online and they all look the same. It doesn't make any damn sense.

I love it when people are looking away from the camera in a picture like something else is going on. "Alright I got this shot set up perfect here we g...whoa a monarch butterfly, those kick ass ::click:: damnit."

or talking on the phone like they couldnt hold the call for a picture for 2 fucking seconds, like they went "Shit I was going to take this picture but I gotta take this important call real quick ::click:: damnit oh well I guess I'll have to save this pic of me looking disinterested and busy with a phone call."

or flexing like "whoa, didn't see you there I was in the middle of this set"

fun times.

Anonymous said...

hey. im still waiting for an answer on that monkey question. hurry... its been a week since ive gotten any.. and that chimp over there looks pretty delishh.