I don't know why I love the ideas of mailbags. Maybe it's because it shows that I have readers and that I can interact with them. Maybe it's because I enjoy the Cowbell mailbags that Bill Simmons does on ESPN. Either way, I have an infatuation with doing a mailbag, as you can probably tell from my begging for comments. I could be going about this all wrong, and should just ask for questions for me to answer in my own unique way. Well, I guess if you have questions to be answered by me about anything, throw them in the comments or e-mail me.
These comments came from the That Guy column, so I will put in my own two cents (much like after the last That Guy column).
Sing-along with his iPod Guy -
He's the guy that ends up waiting in line right behind you while you're at the grocery store, the GSU, or even the library. It may seem annoying and completely rude at first, but it's okay...he's courteous enough to only have one of his earbuds in. That way he can pay attention to how annoyed you are AND hear all of the lyrics to Kelly Clarkson's "Breakaway". Yet despite his attempts to handle both his environment and his MP3 player, he's still horribly out of tune and louder than everyone else around him. Thanks, iPod guy. You've not only ruined my studying experience at the BPL but have killed my love for Kelly Clarkson as well.
First off, I love the fact that he's singing Kelly Clarkson's "Breakaway." I don't know what kind of a creepy guy would be singing songs aloud from the original American Idol. I have experienced a similar situation with someone I loathe only in passing. There was a columnist in the school paper, The Daily Free Press, and I found him to be uniquely unfunny. He is also a comedian (lord knows not a good one) and I once saw him putting up a flyer for one of his shows. He was bopping his moppy-haired head back and forth as he literally bounced along to the music, singing openly for all to hear. It was at that point that I realized he was nothing more than an attention whore who had to go to the lengths of singing in public to get the disered effect. He gives the rest of us attention whores a bad name.
Oh man, I had an encounter with Can't Hit On Chicks Guy tonight. Shockingly, his "I love the NBA" comment didn't get him anywhere... and neither did "Do you like Motley Crue?!" I later found out that the reason his moderately attractive friend had struck up a conversation with us was in an attempt to get some play for Can't Hit On Chicks Guy. Awesome.
I feel bad about Can't Hit On Chicks Guy because he simply doesn't know how bad he is. He is plugging away with what he thinks is gold material with no idea that it's nothing but yellow-coated shit. When the night is over and he goes home alone to jerk off to Facebook while he cries himself to sleep he simply cannot understand why girls aren't all over him. That is the saddest thing of all. Then again, he could also know how bad he is, but figures if he just keeps selling someone will eventually buy. That is also sad, but at least he's congnisant that he's atrocious at luring the other sex into some sort of relations. If I were a girl, I would love to be hit on in a pathetic way. Wait, is that why I have so many friends who are girls? Did no one inform me that I am, in fact, THAT GUY? Irony of ironies.
"omg kill me now i have so much to do" guy
I'm so happy that isn't me. It's finals time, which means that people will irrationally freak out and might be on the verge of violence. Being at college during finals week is the closest that someone can get to witnessing werewolves. All of a sudden that moon goes up and people froth at the mouth. I have been screamed at by people for interrupting their studying session down the hall when their test is four days away. Usually, I don't understand the overreaction as I test well. But, there was a time last year before my Humanities final that while mulling over how I possibly ended my relationship with my girlfriend (lol wait a year lol), studying the Sistine Chapel, and listening to Coldplay's "Shiver" for the first time that I unconciously scratched my neck til it bled. So, I guess we all have that Finals wolf inside of us. I just chose to bring mine out in incredibly over-dramatic ways.
BLATANTLY stares at you from across the room in class guy.
At least he wasn't licking his lips and rubbing his crotch (stolen from comedian Jim Norton). The sad thing is that I sort of was that guy for the longest time with one former crush. Wait, actually, that happened a few times in high school. Thank god I grew some semblence of nerve or else I could very easily be mistaken for a stalker or a creep, or the super-blend of the stalker-creep. And whoever wrote this - I think he likes you !!!!
Finally, before I leave, it tunrs out that I might have received a column in the BU-funded newspaper The Source. I will also be attempting to get a weekly column in the independent paper, the already-mentioned Daily Free Press (Freep). This thing isn't going anywhere. For those out of the range of both papers, and for those who simply don't read anything from or about BU, I will be putting them on here as well. So hurrah - you could be guarenteed at least 2 updates a week. I'm spreading like crabs, folks.