I have a mid-term in a course I'm shakey on in....6 hours, so why not stay up a little longer and write in my blog? Couldn't hurt right? Mom, if you're reading this, I'm sorry I'm blowing Dad's money. Also, please don't read the post below this, I don't think you (or half the people who read this (3 people)) want to know about my body hair.
There are certain people in this world who I unconditionally hate for no real reason. It's a terrible trait that I possess to make superficial judments on people and harshly dislike them because of one or two things that they do. Now, let's move on to examples:
The Guy In Class Who Thinks He's Better Than You:
There is always that one cocky fuck in any class across this nation, be it high school, college, or pre-k, that thinks that they are hot shit. Usually there is a smart girl who is generally smart, and you'll see her raise her hand and sorta feel bad that she's answering all the questions - that's ok. If you're smart and don't shove it in my face, all the power to you. But then there's the one guy....
Last year this guy always had this look about him that he was trying to be something he wasn't. He would wear the same fancy, expensive looking zip up-shirt-thing to fit in with the preppy cool kids but would wear a backwards hat to look thug. I wanted to bite him in the face because he was acting like he was in 8th grade when popularity mattered in a class room setting. So this snotty fuck comes into my group one day and we have to discuss something for our useless Rhetoric class. I bring up how we need to make a "cohesive" argument.
This son of a bitch stops our discussion, actually raising his hand to talk. In a very slow speech, as if he were talking to someone of a lower intelligence, he turns and looks me directly in the eye and comes out with this: "I think the word you were trying to use was coherent, as in the argument would be clearly heard and understood, not cohesive, which generally means to be together. I'm sorry, but you definitely used the incorrect word for that idea you were going to state."
It baffles me to think that this guy had the AUDACITY to clearly challenge my use of the word (and it was correct god dammit - we had 5 parts and we need to PUT THEM ALL TOGETHER, although I understand his point...) straight up to my face, with complete disregard for the small time we had to make our argument. I was so flustered and flabbergasted I didn't say a word the rest of class. Sitting there, with this pained look on my face, there were so many things that I wanted to say to him, but I couldn't find a coherent way to throw together all the curses.
For the record, every time I see this fuck (who looks just like Scott Tenerman from south park) as he walks around all uncomfortable because everything he stands for is a lie, I stare him down. Sure, this is petty and childish and I should let it go, but fuck him, he needs a constant reminder that he's a douche, and I'm the right guy for the job.
The Guy In Class Who KNOWS He's Better Than You:
There is a kid in my new class to take the role of Frosh Year Douche, and beats him by a mile. This kid doesn't have to go up to me personally and talk shit about your ideas, no, he does it in front of the entire class. Here, he will shoot down ideas like he's a Nazi behind a gatling gun on Omaha Beach, with no remorse for people who are desperately trying to formulate a thought.
He sits back with his poseur eyebrow piercing to show that he's hip and indie and not an asshole (luckily I see RIGHT THROUGH that poor disguise) and with this drowning voice that sounds like your alarm clock, he will knock down anything said: professor, classmate or nobel prize winner. The best part is, usually, he's wrong, but you can't tell that to ole' Bullhorn Full Of Shit. Coming from a rich town just outside of Boston, he is obviously entitled to be smarter and clearly better than anyone else.
He's the kid that you used to go to elementary school with and wasn't included in the reindeer games, so he'd sit back with his arms folded and make up silly ideas to try and justify how he wasn't hurt. I could see him with Oshkosh overalls saying to the kids playing basketball who won't pick him, "well that's fine, cause my star cruisers are like 10 million times more important than your stupid game and they require a more advanced form of thinking anyway." I hope this guy still goes home and cries that no one likes him, because he has no one to blame but his own stupid self.
Guy That Is Overly Needy:
I was in line tonight to get my usual counter-productive-to-working-out and artery-filling mozzy sticks when this guy walks up, and already I know he's going to be a pain in the ass. This haughty-taughty bastard is pointing with that finger that is on a swivel from the wrist, and goes up and down with the whole hand; the most obvious sign of someone I won't like. He points at the marinara sauce, which is a common condiment (especially with mozzy sticks), huffs, and asks, "what's that?" like he's staring at a soup of shit. I will give it to him that it isn't as common as catsup (old school) or mustard, but c'mon, you're at least 18 years old and you don't know what marinara sauce looks like?
He huffs and asks, in an overly loud voice so that everyone can hear his order and can't mess it up, for chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, and french fries. When asked if he wanted that horrible looking marinara, he did the unaudible "pfft" (so just the face retraction) and said "no" as matter of factly as if he was asked, "do you love anything in this world?" He then asks for barbeque sauce, is not heard, and then points and goes, "excuse me I want barbeque sauce" and stops with his hand on his waist. If I could, I would have belted him right there, cause lord knows he wouldn't have faught back (but I'm a pussy). The guy behind the counter pours out the bbq sauce into one of those li'l cups and then hestitates, asking if he wants a cover on it.
There is no need for a cover. As I've already said, we have elevators, and you can ride them, regardless of the floor you live on, so there is little need to cover anything...unless you skip and do cartwheels instead of walking. This arrogant fuck looks like there isn't a need to be asked this question and emphatically states "yes," as if asked, "you have to know that everyone hates you."
I'm generally not a bad person. I hold doors open for people, always say, "god bless you" after someone sneezes, and treat my girlfriend and others in a reasonably nice fashion. My simple question is - why can't everyone?
The good part is they give me ammo to rant on at 3:30 in the morning, so I don't need to do silly things like sleep for my midterm in 5 1/2 hours, or study for said mid-term. So thank you, assholes, douchebags and pricks for giving me even MORE reason to despise you.
ps: I see that some columnist have a mailbag feature where they get letters or comments from their readers and then they comment on them. This is a fairly wide open topic, so I'm going to be ballsy and see if I can get a response from the 5 of you that enjoy this page (for whatever reason) to the question: which person do you irrationally hate? Leave it in the comments, im me, or e-mail (if you are reading this and you DON'T know either my sn or my e-mail...who are you and how the hell do you know about this?!). Anything would be appreciated, cause I don't want to eat my balls on my stupid blog. Thanks in advance.