Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Awkward situations

Man, I usually love awkward situations. The ones like "man, Jeff was ALL OVER that bitch last night" in front of his girlfriend. That makes me giggle so, because no one wants to be there...but here we all are. No one knows how to respond to awkward situations, at least not honestly. People will smile and be like "oh that's ok" when inside they're thinking "I will kill you slowly with a butterknife." People will also be quiet, or act like they don't know what's going on. My favorite is the reach and scratch your head, and get-the-fuck-out-of-there move of "well, I...uh...have to...there's this thing...that..." *walk away*.

As I was walking back from class I thought of some awkward situations that I have realized are either not fun or won't be fun. Here are a few.

-When you're walking past a guy on the street who is poor and has the cup for change as the coins in your pocket hit your keys. Now you're "clang clang-ing" all the way, as if boasting to the homeless man, "you're not getting this, ya lazy ass."

-When you're walking and you see the crazy guy on the street, and he's right in the middle of side walk and you can't avoid him. To go from point A to point B you must go through Mr. (or Mrs.) Batshit Insane. This happened just recently. What do you do? Do you keep your head down as you listen to your fashionable iPod (which makes all music THAT much cooler) or try and talk to him? What if he doesn't even KNOW he's crazy? What the hell do you say then? "Yeah, totally, fuckin' penguins screwing with the Earth's temperature. I'm outraged too Mr. BI!"

-Talking shit about someone when they are either right behind you or are in earshot. One of the few things in movies that happen in real life. There is no way out of it, I mean, they heard it. What can you do, say someone else said it with a voice that has the particular tone and pitch as your's? Maybe you were cloned? No, no you take it and you take it right in the face.

-Any time you talk to your doctor, or are with them, I don't care who they are. When they go "turn your head and cough" to males, yeah, can't avoid the strange "eh-heh" sound that you put out. Also, the question of being "sexually active" or doing drugs, why is it so hard to say yes)? I can tell my mom I got high and was fucked in the ass but I can't tell my doctor?

-When you finally reveal your true self on your blog. Reeeaaaal awkward.

1 comment:

hold_my_hand said...

i love awkward situations almost as much as you do